I’ve been studying triads for a few years now – I believe it’s been about three years since I began my preliminary interviews. Happily, those triads whom I initially interviewed back in 2015 are all still together, I believe! I’ve also been in a triad myself since summer 2013.
I’ve been thinking that it’s about time I write up a general overview of what’s happening out there with triads in the world.
For one thing, I feel that there are more and more of them (you). Unfortunately, I can’t say that for sure, because it’s not like the government is asking us to identify ourselves in the census or anything. Some would argue that there have always been lots of triads but that they were just super-secret about their relationships. And sure, there were triads (whether they thought of themselves that way or not). I mean, we have evidence of their existence among historical figures, though it’s hard to tell when three people were in an equal, loving relationship and when they were really in a toxic love triangle. But whether it’s thanks to rising levels of acceptance of more liberal, progressive lifestyles, or just greater visibility thanks to social media, I really do think that more people are either seeking triad relationships, or falling into them accidentally.
There are a few things that I do know, because actual members of actual triads have told me:
When things are tough in our triad (which they sometimes are), it can be really hard to convince myself to sit down and work on the book. This actually blocked me completely for about six months in 2017. I didn’t want anything to do with the book at all! Things were pretty good in our relationship, but if I planned to write or do research one day, inevitably on that day two of us would be bickering; we would be stressed about the way the kids were behaving; or things in the house would just generally be off.
Of course, with a regular job, you go to work even if your family is having an “off” day. But because I’m specifically writing about triads, I felt like working on the book would just dredge up any issues we were having. The last thing I wanted to do when I stepped away from the family for some quiet time was delve into our relationship issues. Ugh.
The Triad Survey is coming down soon…
I’m thrilled to say that the Triad Survey has received over 300 responses! All these answers will be incredibly helpful in giving a voice to polyamorous triads in The Triad Book!
The time has nearly come, though, to compile the data, which means I’ll need to close it to new responses soon. If you have ever been in a triad relationship, or are currently in one, please consider taking the time to fill out the survey if you haven’t already.