Why I Love Interviewing Triads

Writer’s Block…

When things are tough in our triad (which they sometimes are), it can be really hard to convince myself to sit down and work on the book. This actually blocked me completely for about six months in 2017. I didn’t want anything to do with the book at all! Things were pretty good in our relationship, but if I planned to write or do research one day, inevitably on that day two of us would be bickering; we would be stressed about the way the kids were behaving; or things in the house would just generally be off.

Of course, with a regular job, you go to work even if your family is having an “off” day. But because I’m specifically writing about triads, I felt like working on the book would just dredge up any issues we were having. The last thing I wanted to do when I stepped away from the family for some quiet time was delve into our relationship issues. Ugh.

A laptop sits open near a cup of coffee.

But a funny thing happened when I began to work more diligently on writing the book in the fall of 2017. I found a source of hope and connection in my interviews! Now, it’s not that I didn’t realize that my interview sources are amazing people. I know at least a little bit about each of them before I speak to them, usually from social media, so I know when someone I’m about to speak to is awesome. But I always get nervous before talking on the phone (or in this case, Skype/FaceTime/Google Hangouts), so leading up to each interview I feel pretty anxious. (Why did I go into journalism, you ask? Haha!).

I need to do the interviews, though, or there is no book. So I got down to it in a big way starting in October. And although I don’t love the scheduling process, the interviews started to pile up, sometimes several per week. As each one approached, I felt anxious and secretly hoped they’d cancel.

The way I felt after each interview was a different story!

No matter how anxious I felt, how busy I was with the family or my day job that day, how early in the morning the interview was (I’m not a morning person), I *always* hung up feeling completely energized. I also felt inspired, and so excited to share this information with the world! Many of the people I’ve interviewed have expressed how nice it wasto talk to someone who understands their life. And you know what? I feel exactly the same way! I’m so honoured to have had so many triads share their stories with me.

I want to say THANK YOU! in a big way, because these interviews really restore me.

Polyamorous triad laughing

What now?

I’m now down to the last of the interviews. This is the part where I speak to lawyers, counsellors, therapists and other experts. I am only seeking a few more triads to make sure that everyone is well represented. At this point I need to speak to:

  • all-female triads;
  • all-male triads;
  • MMF triads;
  • triads that include trans or non-binary folk;
  • people of colour;
  • triads who have been together longer than ten years;
  • and anyone who is in or has been in a triad who is willing to talk about relationship struggles within that triad.

If you fall under one of these headings and you’d like to share your story in the book, Email Me to set something up!

If you don’t fall under any of these headings but you would like to take part in the research, I really appreciate that! Of course the more people who take part, the better! The best way to do so is to subscribe to my Monthly Update email, where I will be sending out current research requests. I expect to be finished all research by March at the latest, so sign up now to take part! After that, the Monthly Update will be the best place to stay updated on the publication process!

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