About the Book

The thought of three people entangled in a romantic or sexual affair calls to mind familiar themes: the sexy but doomed-to-fail threesome, tool of tawdry films and a common fantasy for many; the love triangle, which is sure to end in disappointment or even tragedy for one if not all three of those involved; and the third wheel, the tag-along who is not really welcome nor wanted and throws a wrench in the plans of the couple.

But as more people around the world test the waters of polyamory, many are finding that one night of fun as a threesome can unexpectedly turn into long-term love; or that opening up a marriage can lead to romance between a committed group of adults who want to stay together for the long haul. These people deserve a map, and their curious onlookers will appreciate an insider’s look at this increasingly common form of relationship.

TRIADS offers a peeping Tom’s view into the lives of dozens of functioning triads (and a few who have broken up along the way), answering the hottest burning questions of all: how do you split the bills? Are the children suffering? Who sleeps in the middle? Don’t you feel jealous? And, yes: Is the sex as exciting as we imagine? It is a beacon from those already living this reality, including the author, who has been in a triad relationship since 2013, to those just starting, those who wonder if it’s for them, and also those who are simply curious about the inner workings of such an unusual situation.

Covering questions of day-to-day practicality, legal considerations, sex and emotional labour, and including plenty of case studies, advice and humour breaks from triad members themselves, TRIADS is one part instruction manual, one part cautionary tale, one part flare sent up to triads around the world and one part exposé.

The author (centre) with her partners.
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